I am really really pissed off and highly irritated at the confessions pages. Especially the NUS and Raffles Hall ones. I feel that it is thriving on the negativity of the students and it is not reflecting us students in a good way. All it shows is a bunch of students who are unhappy about everything in life and just get a kick trying to put others down by remaining anonymous. These are the true keyboard warriors in life. They lack even the simplest courage to stand up for what they think. And it is most probably because they know whatever they say are going to be baseless and definitely will be shot down by everyone else. And it is because of this group of people that those anonymity confession pages becomes an uproar.

Despite having a deadline tomorrow, I still decided to blog to pen down some thoughts.

Until now I still ask myself, why did I choose to run Engin Club then? Was it really a calling, a calling for me to serve the students in need? Or was it pride, wanting to be the leader of students? I am still unable to answer this question. The past 6 months has been filled with tough roads. Time, effort, heart and soul, poured into this position which people don't even give a damn about. I am sure many people would have felt that it wasn't worth it. For me, I don't know. But one thing for sure, when someone compliments about something positive happening around Engin and it's an effect from our initiative, I can feel myself smiling, having that sense of satisfaction that I did bring a smile to someone's face, or I did make someone's life better.

Student volunteers will always be under-appreciated. Be in Engin Club, NUSSU or even a Block Committee in Raffles Hall. It always come secondary to studies, sports, and other hobbies. However, it is only after you embark on this journey that you find it enriching and fulfilling.

Also, my stay in Raffles Hall is ending. 6 weeks to go to be precise. At the end of these 2 years, I realised that it's the people in hall that makes you wanna continue staying. Playing sports competition with your friends, go through rigorous practices with your friends, endure tough preparation with your friends, these are probably everyone's motivation to stay in hall. As my term as a Block Director draws to a close, I am very glad to have my bunch of members to put in their effort to bring Block 4 to greater heights. Not to forget the lovable Prof Yap, always providing us with assistance anytime we need. Despite me leaving soon, I really hope that the next batch of JCRC members will be of high quality, be willing to put the hall in front of themselves and last but not least, not let the residents down. You may start of as a mediocre leader, but if you put in the effort, your improvements will definitely be tremendous.

Emotional much. Haha. (:

Sometime, I wonder if I am really coping well inside. I may appear to be happy-go-lucky on the surface, but I might be rotting and dying on the inside. Perhaps it's time to get to know myself better.

And I really miss Jason. He might be annoying but he is really a great friend. Hope he comes back soon! =(

I seriously have no freaking idea what is happening in my lecture notes. Somehow, the equations and unknowns seem to be solving themselves magically. It's like flipping the notes front and back and front again but nothing is getting solved. At this rate, I am really going to be flunking my midterms. And if that's the case, my chance of SEP is really going to be zero, I need to retake all the modules again, I need to extend my graduation, I need to waste more of my parent's money, I need to repay them more money... What a horrible end. But I really can't understand the nonsense in the notes. It's like symbols everywhere and there is nothing to explain what the stand, how to derive them from other equations. I think I am either too stupid or not cut out for this stupid course. Gahhhh! Why did I put myself into this 4-year torture?